Got another question the other day that I figured let me go ahead and do a write up for my homie and give my young boy a few tips. His question to me was “Neo I met this fantastic young lady and I’m vibing with her so well and I asked her out, she said she is all for it but I don’t know where to take her or what to do…what’s a good 1st date to take her on?”
Well talk about a loaded question and by loaded I just mean it’s a first date so the possibilities are immense here. Okay the simple fact that you seem to be quite smitten by this young lady is great in itself and personally I wish more of us men would show that side and I’m sure women feel the same. Okay so to the date and suggestions for a first date, well it sounds like you don’t want to go conventional as you probably have many times in the past and thus ended up in this same spot. Well you 1st have take the proper time in getting to know this young lady. It sounds like you guys have been talking for a bit of time, enough to know a few of her likes/dislikes and her personality. So that’s a good base to start at because you don’t want to take her somewhere that she will be overwhelmed if she is a shy quiet/to herself type, and she may not be a drinker so a club or wine tasting may not be the best options there. Point I’m making here is try to cater the date to HER, to things she has expressed, mentioned etc.
Next it’s the first date, keep in mind she knows you enough to go on a date with you but she doesn’t KNOW YOU yet so comfort has to be the next important piece. I’m a fan of always doing things in open public settings the initial few times I begin dating someone because it allows other eyes to be on you thus removing some of the fear aspect from it cause a lot of people are creeps out here and women have to be careful. It’s like the convo on Twitter recently about women getting license plate and personal information about us men prior to the date to give to their peoples JUST in case you wanna act a monkey…I’m all for it so again comfort is important. Places like a park, museum, fair, and spots of the like are good because it allows the comfort as well as creates good conversations. Nice walk in the park will give you the chance to really get to know one another in a nice serene setting, a museum is good learning for both parties and again can spark good conversation. Movies is a good spot for dates but maybe not the first one because yeah it’s public but it’s kind of cliche and you want to stand out and make an impression and also it doesn’t create much room for conversation as you are quiet for 2 hours. So save the movies for later dates should you make it that far.
Next….FOOD…..now she might be a shy one and front on the eats but providing good eats is important. Also be sure to inquire about allergies and things like that, it’s a little thing but says a lot about you and your concern for HER. Before your date take a drive through your downtown area or anywhere where there are a nice selection of eateries and pick a nice spot. Not the usual suspects (chain restaurants) unless she has indicated a desire to hit one up, try something different and NO FAST FOOD, that’s tacky. Keep in mind she probably ain’t gonna go hard on the eating on the first date so buffets and things like that are out, they shouldn’t be considered on a first date anyway but you’d be surprised. If she likes Chinese/Japanese etc maybe a nice hibachi or sushi spot, if she likes Italian maybe a small family owned pizza place and have them do something smooth like put a little candle or something at your table for ambience. Ice cream is always a go too cause everyone loves ice cream, but again try something different, maybe the spot where they have the rolled up ice cream.
Another good suggestion is like a class date, like one of those joints where you can go paint, make some pottery or something like that. I actually want to take my wife to something like that one of these days cause I just think they are dope.
Some things to avoid on a first date would be bars. You don’t want to give that impression like you are trying to get her drunk or loose, she should be on her game 100% all night and you shouldn’t want it any other way. Plus bars are loud and just not a good ambience for a date and trying to get to further know someone. Also and this one is VERY important, under no circumstances do you mention your place as a date, that’s not a date and even if you aren’t trying to…it implies you just want to smash and that’s not what we as men are doing out here in the year 2017. It removes her safety, puts her in a compromising position and you never want to do that. Also DO NOT take her to meet your family or friends are a first date, it’s too soon for that and she has enough anxiety trying to find out more about you, she doesn’t need to now have to meet your grandmother that thinks every women is a skeezer (a la Momma Payne, Martin’s mom).
So what have we learned today my brother, get to know HER and HER likes/dislikes, comfort…food…conversation…open places…and being different are the routes you probably want to explore on a first date. And all of this needs to be done around HER, so this is where advice I’ve given y’all before comes in to play. Pay attention to her when she talks, listen to her when she is speaking because a woman will ALWAYS give you the blueprint, you just have to take the right notes. Make this first date special, give her plenty to think about as she lays in her bed that night after it’s all over. Have her looking forward to your next date, surprise her, show her all men are not the same and won’t just be the same run of the mill movie and dinner date. You want to show her that you are different?…then be different, stand out, have her say things like “wow nobody has ever taken me anywhere like this before” or “most guys just do the same old stuff but you’ve shown me something different”. And never EVER forget to be a gentleman on this date and ALL dates. Open car doors and walk around the FRONT of the car before you get in, never the back because she can’t see you and you don’t want to cause apprehension, fear etc her comfort is paramount. Walk on the right side of the street, let her order first, ask her about HER and don’t even fix your face to say the word dutch. Follow many of these tips and you can and WILL create the perfect date for this young lady, I got faith in you lil bro!!!