My Story: June 20, 2018 (It Hasn’t Been Easy)

It hasn’t been easy….that honestly was the best way I could title this and best means to describe my life for the past month or so. I’m not totally in the space that I want to be in internally but one thing that has helped me throughout my many years in this earth is to write when I’m in need of release, it has always been a form of therapy for me. This is a little long but just bear with me, I have to get this off.

Many things have transpired recently, majority family related, so I’ve needed my time to just deal with those things. When I hit these moments I find myself short of words, not wanting to talk so I just won’t because I’ve always been of the mindset that if I don’t have any thing worth saying it’s best to stay quiet and to myself. Not that I would have been negative but when I’m not right I can be different and I didn’t want to be that to anyone that knows me to be the opposite.

It started with work and a few projects that I was working on at my job, in my new position…well not new because I have been there for almost a year but new in the scope of things I’m learning and doing. The tasks were stressing me out, I was making a few mistakes here and there so it was stressing me because I don’t like messing up or making mistakes. Just felt like I couldn’t do anything right, like I was letting my boss, who truly believes in me, down…so it was tough for a few weeks.

Funny thing was my boss was laughing at me when I told her how I was feeling after it was all said and done and she was like “a mistake is nothing more than another opportunity for knowledge…I sometimes hold you unfairly accountable like I do the rest of the team and its because you are extremely good at everything you do, I tend to forget that you are new but I am very happy with my selection for you on our staff and don’t get discouraged because you are on your way, believe me”. So her reassurance helped a lot.

In all of that, family things arose. I had known for some time that my Aunt wasn’t doing too well health-wise after speaking with my father on a few occasions and based on everything I was told I knew we were on borrowed time. From dealing with my Uncle Jeff’s bout with cancer a few years ago and with life experience I sort of am able to now accept that life has its plans and for whatever reason sometimes that involves saying goodbye to ones we love so dearly, so I mentally began to prepare myself for the day I got a call saying she was gone.

Of course I went through the normal emotions, “why her, why take someone that is so loved by everyone she comes in contact with?”….”why take my Aunt away from her kids, siblings, family, friends, why not take a murderer or someone who doesn’t deserve this life we live?”. But then I had to chill because it’s not my place to ask those questions, but in all of this I started to sink more and more. Then as life tends to do, it began to snowball because I find out that another Uncle, the one I call my personal Uncle Phil cause we have a relationship very similar to he and Will’s from the Fresh Prince was in the hospital and they didn’t know what was wrong. They know now what the problem was/is but it changes so much for him and my cousin now as more health precautions have to be set forward to avoid it happening again.

So that knocked me down for real because it just felt like “come on, I mean what’s next!”. And then the next happened as my aunt passed away a few days later. From the moment my father told me I have been stuck in neutral, haven’t felt like being social, haven’t been myself all the way around and just became numb. Even when you try to prepare yourself you never can when you lose a loved one, the pain is there regardless, and it’s a pain that is magnified by how I love those around me. What I mean by that is I tend to hurt more for those that it’s affects in my life as opposed to myself, I always feel like I am alright and ill be fine I just need to grieve but to know my loved ones are in pain just further crushes me.

My Aunt’s kids, their pain, the pain of my father and my other Aunt who through the years now have had to bury their mother and younger brother and now their sister, my siblings, cousins, my family in California whom everyone has recently had the chance to connect with to further strengthen the family bonds and relationships and countless others my Aunt touched while she was here, are where my head and heart are currently. I mean I got a message from one of my friends that I went to elementary school with that used to babysit my little cousin for my Aunt, offering her condolences. So again my mind and heart are and have been with others through all of this. I hate when people I love are hurting and that causes me more grief and pain than anything.

This is not a generic thing when I say this, not just the cliche statement but my Aunt truly was a beautifully amazing woman. She brought and provided so much strength to our family and always have. She was an AMAZING mother to my cousins and a wonderful sister to my father and aunts, and it goes without saying that she was a fantastic Aunt to me and my siblings/cousins always. She didn’t play no games about her loved ones either, wildly protective and you just always knew she had your back no matter what. She didn’t need to know why you were fighting she just gonna join in and throw them hands. She was the Aunt that’s gonna give it to you straight, no chaser but going to hug you, love you and kiss anything that was wrong away. She was accepting of everyone, she was the glue. Everyone’s family has a few glue people and she was one of ours. One thing that always stuck out to me was everytime I spoke with her all she would ever do is talk about my wife and kids, tell me how much she loves them, how beautiful my family is and how proud of me she was…and I mean like EVERY time I spoke with her. I carry and take all my memories of her with a huge smile and will always be sure to keep her memory alive just as I do with all those that impact my life. I will pass the stories down to my kids, show them pictures of her, pics of them with her and they will always know they had a Great-Aunt that loved them tremendously.

Also in the midst of all of this the anniversaries of the passing of my Uncle Jeff (5 years) and my Uncle Bill (1 year) were on back to back days in the first week of this month so my emotions were a bit, well all over the place. So adding all of these things together I truly needed time to just be to myself. I thought about both of my Uncle’s children, my Aunt Patsy (Uncle Bill’s wife) and everyone else and what they were possibly going through or feeling.

So this hiatus wasn’t just about me, it was about being in a place where I didn’t feel like I could help anyone, didn’t feel like I could offer any words of comfort that would be effective, I wanted to be available if my loved ones needed me just as I still am whenever they are ready or need some words. I preach “balance” a lot when I speak to people and my balance was way off and still off just slightly but I know writing and expressing myself has helped me in the past so I wanted to do that instead of being in solitude. I also want to take a second out to thank my wife for her support and to my entire family for their understanding and love as we were dealing with such a major loss. I appreciate everyone that checked up on me, every single one of you and like I said when I initially mentioned about my Aunt’s passing, please…any energy that you want to send my way to lift me up out of a dark place please, PLEASE send that energy to my family, send the prayers to my family because when they are up… I am up…✌🏾


“I Just Wanted To Live” Artwork by Cameron Wilson

Just wanted to share some great art from one of my close friends and brother, Cameron Wilson. The pic speaks for itself so not much of anything needs to be said other than thank God for individuals like James Shaw Jr.

For more information on my brother Cam and to see more of his fantastic work visit him at the spots below, I promise you won’t be disappointed…1

CW – I Am Cameron Wilson

Soul Simplicity

CW Instagram

Who I Choose To Be

Is my silence…agreement? Is my lack of action…cosigning? These are things that have crossed my mind with many of the ongoings of society these days and lately I have had this whole NFL thing on my mind heavy. Should I watch, should I not, am I okay with what I am seeing or am I truly fed up? Took some time to sort through it all but I have finally figured out what I myself need to do. As I say a lot and something I got from Jay-Z, I know it’s much bigger issues in the world but I first have to take care of the world I know because how can I help anything or anyone if I am not right within myself first and foremost. What point is having a voice if I am not going to use it somehow, someway?

Over the past few years the NFL had already begin to fall out of favor with me, there had been numerous things that had happened from domestic violence cases to concussion and health issues of former players and this season things just have reached a boiling point with me. I never claim to be an activist of any sort, I don’t align myself politically to much of anyone or anything…I tend to have my thoughts and views about politics but I keep them to myself because I am not in the business of arguing my personal opinions and that’s what folks like to do in regards to politics and religion. But at some point everyone reaches a level to where you have to say enough is enough and you have to do something, to stand for something, morally.

Watching NFL games every week through the fall and early winter were a part of the fabric of my being since I was like 12 so getting to this point today, I could never have seen this coming but again the morality in me won’t allow me to continue to support a product that doesn’t do right by many things that I truly care for. With the way things are currently constructed I can’t continue to watch the games or enjoy them the ways I used to and won’t until I feel that things are right, better or at the very least progressing in a better direction. I know my lack of viewer support, product support and things of the like are very small in scope but me, on the inside, can’t and won’t feel right if I keep being a part of this as it is currently.

Colin Kaepernick is being black or whiteballed for standing up for something, for refusing to show pride in something that represents a country that oppresses minorities and instead of anyone of these folks speaking on the ACTUAL issues that he knelt for in the first place they have turned it into Trump, disrespecting the flag/military/vets and all this other foolishness. You have owners like Jerry Jones saying that if players don’t stand they won’t play, the commissioner saying that everyone SHOULD stand, but no words on the inequalities, no words on the injustices, nothing…not a drop. So you are going to force the players to do something that they are not contractually obligated to do with threats? That’s nice, sounds like a lot of freedom of speech and equality there within the NFL workforce as well LOL Why not speak on some of the horrible sights I have had to see and explain to my children of black men and children lying dead in the street on the news, I mean that would go a long way to show that you are standing with your players…oh and let’s speak on that for a second. That whole debacle that Sunday 2 weeks ago was an absolute travesty and what really sort of sent me over the edge because I knew #1 that it was all just fluff, those owners don’t care about yall and why any of this came about, they just don’t want their bottom line being messed with because as you see they have already begun to do an about face to that locked arms, standing in solidarity BS. To me I saw it as “hey, don’t talk about our slaves” sorry just calling it how I see it and now with this whole “stand or you don’t play” threat all I hear is “look spook, you do as you are told, follow Massa’s rules or face whatever consequences I see fit”. It was insulting seeing the owners out there, these same people who had been ridiculously silent to EVERYTHING going on previous to calling the players “sons of bitches”, I mean the Lions owner said hey if yall do this I’ll give yall some money for that…wait, WHAT! That’s not how this works fam, give money to aid or do things to help because it’s the right thing to do, not to coerce players to do what you want in regards to protesting or taking a stand for something.

It was at that point last week where I started to say, this isn’t for me right now, shoot I do that with other things I have watched or supported, just turned it off or stopped buying it so why should the NFL be any different if I don’t agree with any of it. And again my little bit of dollars won’t make a dent in anything but it will help me to feel a bit better about my decision making each week. It’s been on my mind for a while now as I said so this is probably a bit overdue but I feel the need for ME to do something. I am not calling to arms everyone else, I honestly don’t care how you go about it but this is what I am doing until I feel things are improved all the way around not just with this Kaep getting a job or at the least a damn workout situation but with people like Greg Hardy or that kicker the Giants had, whose domestic abuse cases really disturbed me, maintaining employment until public pressure caused otherwise. These issues speak of a much larger problem but I can’t continue to be a part of it because I have children I am trying to teach certain things to and how do I look supporting such things. I have a wife that I value, how can I root for a league that will allow guys that domestically abuse, sexually violate and just overall look at women at times as inferior, it’s just hard for me morally so I am choosing to step away for a bit. May not be forever, may not be for long, but for right now this is where I am at with it. I have returned my Madden 18 game as well since that is a part of them and I just can’t allow that to be in my pocket either. It was hard to return it to Gamestop yesterday, probably harder than not watching the games during the week but I have to stand for something as I said yesterday. Going to miss playing with my brothers as we had a fun league but I hope that they understand my stance on this and whether they agree or not just respect how I feel about it. Won’t be sporting any merchandise, removing my affiliations from social groups and networks that are tied to the Titans and the NFL, I just can’t do it right now. Gonna be tough on Mondays, Thursdays and Sundays but I will manage, it’s a tradition that’s going to be hard to break but at this time in life, I must. I am going to start sharing my thoughts and concerns with various sponsors and their willingness to endorse and ignore these issues as well and again maybe it will help, maybe it won’t but I have to do it.

I know these players are put in tough positions and I don’t and will never ask of them to do more than what they are on my television to do but those that go the extra mile, those that are doing things to try to help this matter by kneeling, raising a fist, staying in the tunnel, even those that choose to stand I salute them. For the guys like Malcolm Jenkins, Beast mode, Richard Sherman, Eric Reid, Michael Bennett etc. to the media personalities such as Shannon Sharpe and the guy that has to me made the ultimate sacrifice, Colin Kaepernick, I commend you men for using your voices to speak for those that either can’t speak up or maybe worried about speaking up about things. You men are helping to make a difference and when I look at my children who will in time inherit this crazy world we live in it’s good to know that there are some that care about us, about those of us who may only have 10 people hear them. For the families that lost loved ones behind police brutality, for the people scared because justice isn’t a fair reality in their world, I thank you for them.

My football Sundays used to be a thing of peace to me and my well-being but because big issues exist it has been tainted for me, each week I have to watch a camera pan the sidelines at the beginning of games or hear post game questions about why these guys are kneeling when they have told you time and time again why. Watch pre-game shows and they have specials segments dedicated to speaking about anthem protests and not about the reasons why Kaep took a damn knee in the first place. Shoot Jemele Hill recently was suspended for just speaking her mind, speaking facts, but see they don’t want that to happen because then they have to address things that are uncomfortable for them to talk about, they have to face the reality of what goes on in those neighborhoods they choose to avoid. These things won’t be fixed in comfort, it’s going to take people facing the ugly truths about things, things that many have conveniently overlooked, myself included. Problems exist everywhere and the fights are not just fought here through the NFL, the NBA has some issues I’m sure as does every other major sports entity. Corporations have these same issues, communities have them, I mean we can go on and on about all that and argue about why choose to boycott this and not that, but what’s that ultimately going to do…nothing, so I am not here for that. This is MY choice, as a man, as a father, husband etc.

Again my voice is a small one, may not carry much weight, may not make much of a difference but it will to me and I am who I have to look in the mirror at each day and I like to be comfortable with my decisions and I am much more comfortable on this side of this fight than the other. I am sure in the Civil Rights era and many other times throughout history many didn’t believe their decisions to not do this or that would make a drastic difference but sometimes you just have to do what YOU yourself feel is right. Me taking this time off from the NFL isn’t going to change things and I am sure they can afford to lose me or maybe it will, maybe my voice will help someone else and then so on and so forth and my 1 decision could turn to 5,000 decisions and then maybe someone will listen but I believe in what’s right and I have to do what’s right by me ✊🏾

Bus Chronicles Vol. 2

Okay so on today’s episode of my bus chronicles I just wanted to talk about yesterday’s experience and the close call I had. Well let’s just start off by saying I’m wild regular when I eat and that’s apparently not the best of moves when riding public transportation.

Okay so I walk out of work and down to the Marta station and AS SOON as I got down there my stomach started doing the milly rock (for the older audience let’s go with the Whop) and I knew I was on borrowed time. So this starts and then the bus is like 10 minutes late so now the pressure is mounting.

So the bus finally comes and I board but as each highway mile marker passes my stomach is dancing and jigging more aggressively and I gotta start thinking of backup plans. So my first plan was to get off at the first stop and just have the wife drive a little further to pick me up. The 2nd backup plan was…..nah there wasn’t no more backup plan, it was do or die, sink or swim, 1st or 2nd. So luckily my stomach reaches a calm and I’m able to hold on until the stop RIGHT before mine and then all hell broke loose.

As the bus began driving down the road to the next stop and my final destination things were moving at a frantic pace in my intestines and I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it home under the current conditions. I also worried about letting it fly before I got off the bus and THAT would have been the worst. So I texted my wife like “look when you scoop me, we gotta run to McDonald’s right quick cause the struggle is real”. So she picks me up and I’m like we GOTTA MOVE and she was like “okay let’s hit the gas station at the corner, it’s easier to pull into as opposed to trying to cross traffic” and I knew at that point that asking her to be my wife was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

So we get to the gas station, I dart out the car on some 4.24 in the 40 type speed and I head to the bathroom. Now it’s a rinky dink gas station, you know one of those joints where it looks like the key is gonna be on an old hubcap and they have a slot machine in the corner by the incense. I get to the bathroom door and what do I see….”The Bathroom Is Not For Public Use & It’s Out Of Order Anyways”….and…..WHAT!!!! So now I gotta waddle out the gas station cause you know the closer you get to the bathroom the more your body begins to prepare for the release but not today bowels.

So I come shimmying out the gas station, my wife in the car and she sees that things didn’t go according to plan BUT by the grace of the almighty there was a Caribbean restaurant like 2 stores down so I threw caution to the wind and penguin walked all the way there as to not drop any early dismissals. I walk in, greet the patrons and employees, get a whiff of some fantastic smelling curry chicken (or goat) and make my way to the bathroom. Walk in, lock the entire HELL out of the door and get to the toilet and as soon as I debriefed and began to sit down…..CRISIS AVERTED!!! The movement was so good I contemplated taking off one of my dress shoes for comfort.

So moral of the story, don’t…..make sure….welp, I can’t think of anything profound to say to this. A close call is a close call and sometimes they can’t be avoided so best thing I can tell you is work on your ab muscles or something so you can hold it in until you reach a safe destination….✌🏽

Bus Chronicles Vol. 1

Okay so since I’m riding the bus and I’m sure to either see or be a part of some stuff during my daily commutes I figured I’d chronicle some of the things I see.

Well today’s isn’t something funny or anything like that, just wanted to speak on something I noticed. Since I’m downtown Atlanta everyday now I get to see a lot of folks walking and I’m peeping that many men don’t realize the side of the sidewalk that they should be walking on when walking with a woman. For anyone not in the know, as a man…you should always walk on the outside or closest to the street. Might not be a major thing to some but it irritates me everytime I see it and I’ve seen it a lot over the past 2 weeks and that’s sad. It’s not just about the men not knowing but women seem to not know neither, either that or they just don’t care that much. So for today’s chronicle I just want to say be stronger in your role as a gentleman and ladies expect nothing less than that…✌🏽

Be There

So earlier I shared a post on Facebook that spoke about being there for people (see below):

“No matter what, you do what you have to do for family/friends…..well that’s just how I try to always live my life. You may not be able to do everything you want or can, may not be able to assist in every situation, but you try and you always build the foundation for those that you love to know you will always be there to support them in times of need. Those are the principles I was raised by on both sides of my family and I plan on carrying that until the day I die and passing it down to my children, niece, nephews, godsons etc”

The post was sparked from something I read someone mention on Facebook about their friends/family and how they can’t stand them etc. I’m sure we have all seen these posts a time or two before. Now I don’t know each situation so I’m not passing judgement, you could have valid reasons for how you feel about your’s but my post was just to speak on how I have always been, have been raised to be and will always be.

I will always do my very best to be there for people, sometimes that may not fit within THEIR criteria or time frames but it’s important for me to always get established with people that I am there and always do my best to be. Many people feel alone cause they expect folks to be there on their time only but we all have to realize that even the one that you seek help from has times they are already committed to and they may not be there in THAT particular moment of need but in most cases when they can they will be. So be there for those in need and always be understanding of someone else’s situation as well….✌🏽

“What’s A Good 1st Date To Take Her On?”

Got another question the other day that I figured let me go ahead and do a write up for my homie and give my young boy a few tips. His question to me was “Neo I met this fantastic young lady and I’m vibing with her so well and I asked her out, she said she is all for it but I don’t know where to take her or what to do…what’s a good 1st date to take her on?”

Well talk about a loaded question and by loaded I just mean it’s a first date so the possibilities are immense here. Okay the simple fact that you seem to be quite smitten by this young lady is great in itself and personally I wish more of us men would show that side and I’m sure women feel the same. Okay so to the date and suggestions for a first date, well it sounds like you don’t want to go conventional as you probably have many times in the past and thus ended up in this same spot. Well you 1st have take the proper time in getting to know this young lady. It sounds like you guys have been talking for a bit of time, enough to know a few of her likes/dislikes and her personality. So that’s a good base to start at because you don’t want to take her somewhere that she will be overwhelmed if she is a shy quiet/to herself type, and she may not be a drinker so a club or wine tasting may not be the best options there. Point I’m making here is try to cater the date to HER, to things she has expressed, mentioned etc.

Next it’s the first date, keep in mind she knows you enough to go on a date with you but she doesn’t KNOW YOU yet so comfort has to be the next important piece. I’m a fan of always doing things in open public settings the initial few times I begin dating someone because it allows other eyes to be on you thus removing some of the fear aspect from it cause a lot of people are creeps out here and women have to be careful. It’s like the convo on Twitter recently about women getting license plate and personal information about us men prior to the date to give to their peoples JUST in case you wanna act a monkey…I’m all for it so again comfort is important. Places like a park, museum, fair, and spots of the like are good because it allows the comfort as well as creates good conversations. Nice walk in the park will give you the chance to really get to know one another in a nice serene setting, a museum is good learning for both parties and again can spark good conversation. Movies is a good spot for dates but maybe not the first one because yeah it’s public but it’s kind of cliche and you want to stand out and make an impression and also it doesn’t create much room for conversation as you are quiet for 2 hours. So save the movies for later dates should you make it that far.

Next….FOOD… she might be a shy one and front on the eats but providing good eats is important. Also be sure to inquire about allergies and things like that, it’s a little thing but says a lot about you and your concern for HER. Before your date take a drive through your downtown area or anywhere where there are a nice selection of eateries and pick a nice spot. Not the usual suspects (chain restaurants) unless she has indicated a desire to hit one up, try something different and NO FAST FOOD, that’s tacky. Keep in mind she probably ain’t gonna go hard on the eating on the first date so buffets and things like that are out, they shouldn’t be considered on a first date anyway but you’d be surprised. If she likes Chinese/Japanese etc maybe a nice hibachi or sushi spot, if she likes Italian maybe a small family owned pizza place and have them do something smooth like put a little candle or something at your table for ambience. Ice cream is always a go too cause everyone loves ice cream, but again try something different, maybe the spot where they have the rolled up ice cream.

Another good suggestion is like a class date, like one of those joints where you can go paint, make some pottery or something like that. I actually want to take my wife to something like that one of these days cause I just think they are dope.

Some things to avoid on a first date would be bars. You don’t want to give that impression like you are trying to get her drunk or loose, she should be on her game 100% all night and you shouldn’t want it any other way. Plus bars are loud and just not a good ambience for a date and trying to get to further know someone. Also and this one is VERY important, under no circumstances do you mention your place as a date, that’s not a date and even if you aren’t trying to…it implies you just want to smash and that’s not what we as men are doing out here in the year 2017. It removes her safety, puts her in a compromising position and you never want to do that. Also DO NOT take her to meet your family or friends are a first date, it’s too soon for that and she has enough anxiety trying to find out more about you, she doesn’t need to now have to meet your grandmother that thinks every women is a skeezer (a la Momma Payne, Martin’s mom).

So what have we learned today my brother, get to know HER and HER likes/dislikes, comfort…food…conversation…open places…and being different are the routes you probably want to explore on a first date. And all of this needs to be done around HER, so this is where advice I’ve given y’all before comes in to play. Pay attention to her when she talks, listen to her when she is speaking because a woman will ALWAYS give you the blueprint, you just have to take the right notes. Make this first date special, give her plenty to think about as she lays in her bed that night after it’s all over. Have her looking forward to your next date, surprise her, show her all men are not the same and won’t just be the same run of the mill movie and dinner date. You want to show her that you are different?…then be different, stand out, have her say things like “wow nobody has ever taken me anywhere like this before” or “most guys just do the same old stuff but you’ve shown me something different”. And never EVER forget to be a gentleman on this date and ALL dates. Open car doors and walk around the FRONT of the car before you get in, never the back because she can’t see you and you don’t want to cause apprehension, fear etc her comfort is paramount. Walk on the right side of the street, let her order first, ask her about HER and don’t even fix your face to say the word dutch. Follow many of these tips and you can and WILL create the perfect date for this young lady, I got faith in you lil bro!!!

“I Have A Low Sex Drive, Will My Partner Cheat On Me?”

Was asked a question this morn…”I have a low sex drive, do you think my partner is cheating on me?”…and I gave the question in this form as to not isolate to gender or preference because these things happen to everyone whom is intimate. 1st things first, there is not enough info to properly answer as it was vague in scope but, I will say that this is a very delicate topic & you want to believe the partner is understanding of that but everyone is different and the best advice I can offer is just keep communication lines open, don’t either of you shut down because resentment, fear, lack of understanding and empathy can be the downfall here.

Intimacy isn’t just physical and that’s something I want everyone to grasp here, so the lack of it can be damaging and hurtful to someone that doesn’t understand or relate. Maybe the one in need is seeking that intimate connection and it’s not being fulfilled and that can create doubt in one’s mind. But to the question, are they cheating, well I don’t know and again you want to have faith that they haven’t, wouldn’t or don’t. It’s not a cause or justification but the fact that you are concerned may mean you see signs or you are just paranoid due to changes in your relationship with your partner.

The 2 of you must communicate your sides and points of view in this because that’s very important to the success of your situation. Find out what they need from you and what you need from them be it understanding or methods and means to help increase the drive. You must work as a team with this and I’m not guaranteeing victory by doing this but it’s much better than the alternative of not. So sit and talk about it, it’s tons of information online that can help but don’t just let it go untouched. Your partner may not even know the WHY in regards to your low drive and a good talk may aid in the understanding and a shift in their attitude and possible need for it as much.

Hope this helps some and I know it didn’t answer the question directly but again that’s not something I would know off hand just off the information provided, best of luck.

Back To Life…Back To Reality (Sigh) 

Very bittersweet Sunday today as its my last day off of work officially as part of my long vacation (haven’t been at work since June 22nd). I have thoroughly enjoyed being off for this time as it was much needed for my recharging but now it’s back to the grind, back to the normal hustle & bustle of everyday life. Hadn’t taken a vacation of any kind since 2015 so this past one was much needed and appreciated by my mind body and soul. 

When you go on vacation everything seems better…food, sounds, weather…and then you come home and it’s back to the same ol same.  Lucky for me I will starting a new job in 2 weeks, well not a new job but a new position within my current employer. I’ll be going on a detail assignment for a few months to our downtown office for some new experience (and a nice little đź’°) and putting my name out there a bit more, this time with headquarters so hopefully it will all go well cause I’m wild nervous about it all. Mainly just nervous because I want to do a great job and show them that I am a good employee as well as represent the area I’m coming from properly. Guess it was a good thing I trusted in myself and turned down that other detail assignment they offered me last month to manage because if I did that one then I wouldn’t have been able to do this and this one is one that I truly want. Just wild that I turned down that one and told them that I didn’t want to do it because I didn’t want to mess up my chances of something else coming up and then just a week or 2 later, something else came up. That’s why you have to be patient and not just jump at any and everything, even money opportunities because sometimes something better and more applicable to YOU may be on the horizon. 

If I can offer one bit of advice to everyone it would be to be sure that you take vacations, at least once a year, that’s my new thing. I’m going to stop going so long between them because I see how valuable they can be for me. Your everyday life can burn you out, drain you, so you need to take a vacation…get out somewhere, be away from what you are used to on the daily and get your mind back right. 

So as I lay here in bed at noon on this Sunday and think about the irritating sound of my alarm clock in the morning I guess I can be happy in the fact that I was able to take a vacation and a long one, I was able to spend some great quality time with my family in Baltimore and then chill with one of my best friends and his family on the cruise (they are also considered family as well). Also was able to come back home and kick back and relax all week in the comfort of my own home cause you know many times we need a vacation FROM or right after our vacation lol. So the time off was a success just went too fast and now I have to get ready for the next leg of life…but I can handle it (tries to day that without having a sad face) ✌🏽 

Be Friends…? 

So a question was posed yesterday and it asked if as a heterosexual man would I have a problem with having a homosexual friend also if I found out a friend was homosexual would it change our friendship? 

Well let me start this with a resounding, NO…to both questions. Someone’s sexuality or preference will never have an effect on my friendship with said individual. What they do or choose to do in their bedroom is their business and doesn’t dictate who that person is to me. I look at people in a very simplistic view, either you are a good person or a bad one. Of course there is race and things of the sort to consider but I generally use that as my determining factor for my friends and whom I allow in my circle. 

Next if I had a friend come out the closet to me I would NEVER stop being their friend, not even a little, shoot it actually happened a few years back and at no point did I ever think “well he can’t be my peoples anymore”. If anything I was extremely proud of my boy and I continue to be. I was proud in the fact that he accepted who he is and decided it was time for the world to know because I’m sure for him and many it’s an extreme burden to live with. To be worried about how those close to you will feel, how you may be treated etc but from me it was and will NEVER be am issue, he’s one of many folks that I consider a great friend and value his as that. I also had a close family member do the same a long time ago and she was scared to tell me for fear of my judgement etc and I didn’t give a damn because all I care about for those I care about and love is their personal happiness and if that’s where it lies then they always have my undying support.

I don’t change on those I love and care for, those that I let into my circle stay there for life unless THEY themselves decide not to be. Nothing will ever change in any relationship/friendship I have with anyone due to their personal sexual choices nor will I not be friends with someone because of it. This world is full of beautiful individuals and I am not going to limit myself from knowing such great souls just because they may do things a little different than I might.